poems

NEW RIPPLES

/ dinaoktaviani / 1 Comment

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my river, my love, my memory of you
not drying up under the high sun
nothing short of grey, and true, and blue
take me right where i cannot run

my face, my guts, my ducks in a row
to reflect, digest, to leave ripples behind
to understand and yet never let go
for time is irrelevant in the likes of mind

beyond me is wars, prices and police
it’s old, it’s new, some eliminate too
my words, my solitary and my peace
are proof of everything of undervalue

d.o.
paris 30 may 2026

ANKLE-DEEP ROMANCE

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here comes the low tide
you’re nowhere in sight
— your kisses and your sighs
agony in your green eyes

i’d rather be happy than have poetry
to never be hurt, to never blame you
to steal your breath for an eternity
to hell with dreams that do not come true

i’m not prepared for your freedom
you’re not equipped with my ransom
the water keeps leaving the pier
still i’m drowning in my old fear

big hands on my waist were never enough
what is this illness i keep calling love
to paris’ rain my heart will return
where your shadows can’t leave me alone

d.o.
london, 20 may 2026

BEFORE THE RIVER

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have i ever stood still before you
to look at your waves subtle and crude
and to see the sky above you
as merely the sky and not solitude

or do i glance at your surface
and, being inexperienced in feeling loved
dive straight into the cold behind this face
avoiding the reflection of the sane world

do i chuckle and frown and smile
with the excitement of the wind and pain so pure
have i ever stood still before you
before passing your depth and trueness by

d.o.
paris, 16 may 2026

PHANTASM

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i see two moons on the windows, outside
a reflection of a reflection of light
in the face of you, my darling, i see my heart
a reflection of a reflection of fights

wishing for a banging door – not by my hand
for love to enter, finally, my kingdom of hell
longing to surrender, to trust, comprehend
to testify in favour of everyone who fell

my pains are heavy and you are free
a tie is only a burden when you wear it on your shoulders
fly away when my kisses have lost their novelty
and let me wander alone like a starling suffers

d.o.
london, 2 may 2026

I IN YOU

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–ysh

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i find you
when i search for i
in the still night
content without stars
in my backbone
alone

it’s not your eyes i long for
your touch does not at all pour
mirrors break and hearts change
no wind can stop oneself from
becoming

what is time
who suffers space
love is prime
when self is traced

finding you
i figure i out
letting you in
the i come out


d.o.
london, 30 april 2026

LOW TIDE INSTINCT

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dusk has turned into dawn
i can’t stand the distance
between how much of you i want
and my wish for your freedom

i wish for you to turn up out of the water
for i know not how to love moderately
i am trapped in this unnecessary melancholy
full of wound and scabs that do not falter

to want to be loved at all cost
to keep the tones hearable
and your absence more bearable
to taste longing without the loss

when distance takes over, drag me across the floor
install me close to your chest and your fortress
kiss me endlessly when silence tortures
i want your resistance no more

d.o.
london, 14 april 2026

HIGH TIDE ON THE DECK

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–wa

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now that the gust has settled
and from the thames the clouds have lifted
everything that resembles warm sea
— my tears, morning breaths of you and me
let me forget about the coming days

now the river flows with my gaze
now my mind blows with your gaze
the sky is greyer than your eyes are green
we swallow everything that is lean
— crémant, pleasure of flesh, our mortal pain

the sun is high and so is our gain
i tell you i could die now before hell chases
you arrive on my lap as if from heaven
and tell me we’ve got a couple more saucers
to bear the tide, to live up our fantasy

of forever, perhaps of you and me
one more kiss and you must go home
as hard as my past tries to reign me
i must embrace your freedom
: because i’m free

d.o.
paris – london, 9 april 2026

FIRST KISS

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to have nothing to hide isn’t how to love you
to abandon my dreams, to trust your words in my body
only stole the magic from the parisian rain
that once delivered my hopes completely to your fears

to carry the fears of the world is how you loved me
to take away all my kisses then let me stand solitarily
by an opened winter’s window of a dark tower
ready to jump away from myself for a single return kiss

a kiss that has nothing to hide
like one you let me sample on my neck on our first walk
before you tried to explain how to love safely
before i questioned how love could be inadequate
before you tasted in your own tongue finally
the fears of the world which into my body you inserted

d.o.
sherborne-paris-london, feb-march 2026

SUPPER TIME IN PARIS

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(baca versi bahasa indonesia di sini)

what has happened to my heart
something’s falling, something’s closing
words have been robbed from the rain
the rain washes nothing from my brain

your shadows enter my blood
like rusty nails; all defence fails
suffering is love untrained
a child attempting to rationalise in vain

i can no longer run
from a place that has no time
your stanzas bear no resemblance
to the world you destroyed in spite of me

a mother who is alone, an ostracised conviction
solitude that through friendships didn’t get broken
where do i drag my blistered longing
for a dining table or a secret to a whole being

through the cruelty of the night
i betray myself, paris and other ilnesses
still my heart’s allegiance remains
with those who have nothing to hide

paris, february 2026

SOBBING MERRIMENT

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–jh

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where does tonight carry the seine
when the rain’s left, and sorrow’s no longer right
two pairs of shoes, one of them wet from the ground
taking their time finding the bridge

one by one lovers turned into loners
returned to where they belong –
in the prayers of hungry artists
far from the ghosts of my gentleness
stuttered in declaring their objections

where does the seine carry tonight
before the tower’s lights turned out
and all faith quietly drowned
like dust penetrating the surface
not lost, yet may no longer be found

there is no line i could denounce
about the god that’s closer than my neck vein
when my silence steamed up your glasses
— taking them off i hide from the sobbing merriment

london-sherborne, october 2024